Living with a chronic illness - dealing with feelings
Learning that you have a long-term (chronic) illness can bring up many different feelings.
Learn about common emotions you might have when you are diagnosed and live with a chronic illness. Learn how to support yourself and where to go for more support.
Getting Used to Chronic Illness
Examples of chronic illnesses are:
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Alzheimer disease
Alzheimer disease
Dementia is a loss of brain function that occurs with certain diseases. Alzheimer disease (AD) is the most common form of dementia. It affects memo...
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Arthritis
Arthritis
Arthritis is inflammation or degeneration of one or more joints. A joint is the area where 2 bones meet. There are more than 100 different types of...
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Asthma
Asthma
Asthma is a chronic disease that causes the airways of the lungs to swell and narrow. It leads to breathing difficulty such as wheezing, shortness o...
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Cancer
Cancer
Cancer is the uncontrolled growth of abnormal cells in the body. Cancerous cells are also called malignant cells.
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COPD
COPD
Chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD) is a common lung disease. Having COPD makes it hard to breathe. There are two main forms of COPD:Chroni...
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Crohn disease
Crohn disease
Crohn disease is a disease where parts of the digestive tract become inflamed. It most often involves the lower end of the small intestine and the be...
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Cystic fibrosis
Cystic fibrosis
Cystic fibrosis is a disease that causes thick, sticky mucus to build up in the lungs, digestive tract, and other areas of the body. It is one of th...
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Dementia due to any cause
Dementia
Dementia is a loss of brain function that occurs with certain diseases. It affects one or more brain functions such as memory, thinking, language, j...
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Diabetes
Diabetes
Diabetes is a long-term (chronic) disease in which the body cannot regulate the amount of sugar in the blood.
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Epilepsy
Epilepsy
Epilepsy is a brain disorder in which a person has repeated seizures over time. Seizures are episodes of uncontrolled and abnormal electrical activi...
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Heart Disease
Heart Disease
Coronary heart disease is a narrowing of the blood vessels that supply blood and oxygen to the heart. Coronary heart disease (CHD) is also called co...
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HIV/AIDS
HIV/AIDS
Human immunodeficiency virus (HIV) is the virus that causes acquired immunodeficiency syndrome (AIDS). When a person becomes infected with HIV, the ...
Read Article Now Book Mark Article - Mood disorders (bipolar, cyclothymic, and depression)
Bipolar
Bipolar disorder is a mental condition in which a person has wide or extreme swings in their mood. Periods of feeling sad and depressed may alternat...
Read Article Now Book Mark ArticleCyclothymic
Cyclothymic disorder is a mental disorder. It is a mild form of bipolar disorder (manic depressive illness), in which a person has mood swings over ...
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Depression may be described as feeling sad, blue, unhappy, miserable, or down in the dumps. Most of us feel this way at one time or another for shor...
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Multiple sclerosis
Multiple sclerosis
Multiple sclerosis (MS) is an autoimmune disease that affects the brain and spinal cord (central nervous system).
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Parkinson disease
Parkinson disease
Parkinson disease results from certain brain cells dying. These cells help control movement and coordination. The disease leads to shaking (tremors...
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It can be a shock to learn you have a chronic illness. You may ask "why me?" or "where did it come from?"
- Sometimes nothing can explain why you got the illness.
- The illness may run in your family.
- You may have been exposed to something that caused the illness.
As you learn more about your illness and how to take care of yourself, your feelings may change. Fear or shock may give way to:
- Anger because you have the illness
- Sadness or depression because you may not be able to live the way you used to
- Confusion or stress about how to take care of yourself
Your Image of Yourself may Change
You may feel like you are not a whole person anymore. You might be embarrassed or ashamed that you have an illness. Know that, with time, your illness will become part of you and you will have a new normal.
You will learn to live with your illness. You will get used to your new normal. For example:
- A person with diabetes may need to learn to test their blood sugar and give insulin several times a day. This becomes their new normal.
- A person with asthma may need to carry an inhaler and avoid things that may cause an asthma attack. This is their new normal.
Expect to Feel Overwhelmed
You may be overwhelmed by:
- How much there is to learn.
- What lifestyle changes you need to make. For example, you may be trying to change your diet, quit smoking, and exercise.
Be Gentle With Yourself
Over time, you'll adapt to living with your illness.
- Know that you will adapt over time. You will feel like yourself again as you learn how to fit your illness into your life.
- Know that what may be confusing at first starts to make sense. Give yourself time to learn how to take care of your illness.
Feelings and Emotions Over Time
It takes a lot of energy to manage your chronic illness every day. Sometimes, this can affect your outlook and mood. Sometimes you may feel very alone. This is particularly true during times when your illness is harder to manage.
You may sometimes have the feelings you had when you first got the illness:
- Depressed that you have the illness. It feels like life will never be OK again.
- Angry. It still seems unfair that you have the illness.
- Afraid that you will become very ill over time.
These kinds of feelings are normal.
Stress can make it harder for you to take care of your chronic illness. You can learn to cope with stress to help you manage day to day.
Find ways to decrease stress that work for you. Here are some ideas:
- Go for a walk.
- Read a book or watch a movie.
- Try yoga, tai chi, or meditation.
- Take an art class, play an instrument, or listen to music.
- Call or spend time with a friend.
Finding healthy, fun ways to cope with stress helps many people.
If stress or depression lasts, talking with a therapist might help you deal with the many feelings that come up. Ask your health care provider for help finding a therapist.
If you feel like you can’t cope and are thinking about suicide, call or text 988 or chat 988lifeline.org. You can also call 1-800-273-8255 (1-800-273-TALK). The 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline provides free and confidential support 24/7, anytime day or night.
You can also call 911 or the local emergency number or go to the hospital emergency room. DO NOT delay.
Learn More About Your Illness
Know more about your illness so you can manage it and feel better about it.
- Learn how to live with your chronic illness. At first it might seem like it is controlling you, but the more you learn and can do for yourself, the more normal and in control you will feel.
- Find information on the Internet, at a library, and from social networks, support groups, national organizations, and local hospitals.
- Ask your provider for websites you can trust. Not all the information you find online is from reliable sources.
References
Ahmed SM, Hershberger PJ, Lemkau JP. Psychosocial influences on health. In: Rakel RE, Rakel D. eds. Textbook of Family Medicine. 9th ed. Philadelphia, PA: Elsevier; 2016:chap 3.
American Psychological Association website. Coping with a diagnosis of chronic illness. www.apa.org/helpcenter/chronic-illness.aspx. Updated August 2013. Accessed July 25, 2022.
Ralston JD, Wagner EH. Comprehensive chronic disease management. In: Goldman L, Schafer AI, eds. Goldman-Cecil Medicine. 26th ed. Philadelphia, PA: Elsevier; 2020:chap 11.
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Stress - InDepth
(In-Depth)
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Rheumatoid arthritis - InDepth
(In-Depth)
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Schizophrenia - InDepth
(In-Depth)
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Multiple sclerosis - InDepth
(In-Depth)
Review Date: 8/15/2022
Reviewed By: Linda J. Vorvick, MD, Clinical Professor, Department of Family Medicine, UW Medicine, School of Medicine, University of Washington, Seattle, WA. Also reviewed by David C. Dugdale, MD, Medical Director, Brenda Conaway, Editorial Director, and the A.D.A.M. Editorial team.